Sex is a natural part of life but it has since become a taboo topic for a lot of people. From families to school systems, people seem to shy away from the subject of sex.
It’s made many aspects of sex education inaccessible, which has bred a lot of misinformation and stigma about the subject. This is why normalizing conversations about sex is important as it ensures that everyone can have a healthy sex life.
Best Sex Positive Books
In simple terms, sex positivity is embracing consensual sex as a positive influence on your life. It’s about recognizing your need to explore and learn about your sexuality and gender without being judged or shame.
Below are books that help you explore your body and discover what turns you on. Whether you read them on your own, with your partner, or with your family, these books are a gateway to being more comfortable with sex.
1. Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
Based on actual scientific research, Nagoski explores the inner workings of female sexuality—a field much less studied than it’s male counterpart. It takes into account how female brains and bodies work in order to demystify myths and answer questions about sex.
This is an accessible guide for all men, women, and nonbinary people looking to make their sex lives more joyful and satisfying.
2. Guide To Getting It On by Paul Joannides
Sex can be a mystery that’s hard to unveil, with all the misinformation going around. Psychoanalyst Paul Joannides remedies that by offering a book full of practical information about sex.
Whether it’s information taken from actual research to techniques for better performance, everything is told in a humorous, and unabashed tone. To further drive them home, detailed drawings and quotations from actual people of varying ages are spread throughout the book.
3. Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel
One of the biggest fears that a couple could have is for their relationships to become domestically fine, but sexually dull. In her twenty years as a couples therapist, Esther Perel has seen hundred of relationships that were just that.
Perel talks about humanity’s need for intimacy and sex and how to fuel one without losing the other. And while they are difficult to sustain, it is entirely possible for healthy, committed relationships to have both.
4. My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday
First published in 1973, My Secret Garden polarized the nation. It contained hundreds of interviews of women and their hidden sexual thoughts, from “common” lesbian affairs and rape fantasies to much more explicit scenarios.
It gave women a long-needed platform to be seen and heard, breaking many taboos that surrounded lust and desire.
5. The Ethical Slut by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton
Monogamy has always been the primary mode of romantic relationships. However, polyamory, the practice of having more than one romantic partner at a time, has also been explored by people seeking a connection with others.
This book acts as a guide for those curious about polyamorous lifestyles. From open communication to emotional honesty, it teaches you how to navigate today’s modern attitudes towards nontraditional relationships.
6. When Sex Hurts by Andrew Goldstein, et al.
Sex isn’t always pleasurable. People who experience painful sex often suffer in silence due to embarassment or are misdiagnosed, leading to further complications. Not only does this affect your relationship, but your self-esteem as well.
And so this book takes a deep dive into the reasons why sex becomes painful. From genetics to how to find a doctor, it’ll teach you how to understand sexual pain and rebuild the intimacy lost from experiencing it.
7. For Goodness Sex by Al Vernacchio
Sex education often operates through the lens of abstinence, which often leaves teenagers ill-prepared to make intelligent decisions when they’re finally ready for a sexual relationship. It’s led to young people seeking advice from doubtful sources, which teaches them problematic views about sex.
Al Vernacchio advocates for a more sex positive method of education. In this book are tools and insights that adults can use to better communicate with young people and help them form healthy sexualities.
8. Love Worth Making by Stephen Snyder
When things get too comfortable in a relationship, it’s often easy to forget about the passion. Soon, things can slowly fizzle out in the bedroom.
Through his years of experience working with couples, Stephen Snyder tells you how you can maintain intimacy without sacrificing sexual intensity. This is not a how-to book for sex techniques, but a guide to understanding sex and its role in a relationship.
9. The Dominance Playbook by Anton Fulmen
Sex is power. To be able to provide and take away pleasure is an ability that shouldn’t be taken lightly. For many people, this dynamic of dominance and submission is the most arousing aspect of sex.
As a kink and sexuality educator, Anton Fulmen encourages the exploration of your sexual fantasies while weaving them into your longterm relationships—in ways that are enjoyable and fulfilling for everyone involved.
10. The Body Is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor
Humanity’s differences are most obvious in our physical appearances. This diversity has led to some people developing insecurities about themselves over what they believe as inferior physical features.
While many don’t realize it, this has actually affected their sexuality, from how they see their bodies to how they experience sex itself. Taylor seeks to combat that shame and help people learn the magic of radical self-love.
Exploring Sex Using Healthy Perspectives
Because of how much sex has become a taboo subject, young people are often left unprepared to deal with their sexuality. Boys are studs, girls are sluts, porn is realistic, and bigger is better. These are just a few damaging perspectives about sex that inadequate education has indirectly bred.
But sex is a natural part of being human. Shying away from it doesn’t make it go away. Rather, it makes things worse as the lack of support gets teenagers looking into unreliable sources for advice.
Talking about the birds and the bees can be awkward and sometimes frustrating. But adults must be there to guide young people into becoming physically, emotionally, and intellectually healthy sexual beings. Only from this will they gain an appreciation for sex and its role in their life.
What’s your favorite sex-positive books? Share them in the comments below!
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Cole is a blog writer and aspiring novelist. He has a degree in Communications and is an advocate of media and information literacy and responsible media practices. Aside from his interest in technology, crafts, and food, he’s also your typical science fiction and fantasy junkie, spending most of his free time reading through an ever-growing to-be-read list. It’s either that or procrastinating over actually writing his book. Wish him luck!
