When it comes to motherhood, many women find themselves giving in to societal pressures and expectations not only about how they should raise their children, but even about how they should live their lives.
But what if it didn’t have to be this way? What if being a good mom didn’t mean sacrificing your own dreams and sense of adventure?
In Inspired Mama, Sez Kristiansen reveals how mothers and women everywhere can redefine and achieve their “best lives” full of adventure, wanderlust, and purpose.
A Guide to Intentional Living
Please enjoy this exclusive excerpt from Inspired Mama, the ultimate mind, body, and lifestyle guide for women seeking to live their best life in motherhood.
Redefining Your Life
For years I tried to earn more money so I could afford to “have it all.” I changed my perspective about my job, stopped complaining, and ran harder. I focused on doing what was expected, even though it gave me migraines and severe anxiety.
It made me grow deeply inward toward the exquisite abyss, and whenever I touched the void, I heard a voice telling me that a good life flows with ease and inspiration, not with constant fight, turmoil, and resistance. Finally, I came to a point where I could no longer live the “have it all” life.
It is a rebellious act to drive your life from your heart rather than your head, but it is an authentic way to live. It’s infinitely better than skimming the choppy waters of conformity.
Aligning with your intuition will lead you to your greatest version of life. It will give you the power of conviction, clarity, and insight so you can discover who you really are and map out your actions.
To get started, you’ll need your journal and pen.
1. Envision Your Best Life
Set aside 30 minutes one day when you can relax and be in a meditative state of mind. Choose a time of day when your mind is clear and hasn’t been affected by too much external information.
In your journal, describe a day in your best life. Use as many descriptive words as you can to connect with feelings of ease, joy, empowerment, and freedom. Be as specific as you can about your emotions, especially your feelings about yourself and your environment.
What do you do in this best life that makes you feel so good? How do you behave with your children? How do you respond to your partner? Let yourself be fully immersed in this experience and allow yourself to feel the most joyous emotions and fulfillment you can imagine.
If an image arises that makes you feel something is lacking, or triggers something that you long for with desperation, think about why you feel this way. What in your life has caused you to have a difficult relationship with this object or emotion? What can you do to change your perception of it?
Perhaps the feeling of blissful love makes you feel unworthy, or the thought of a dream house by the ocean makes you feel undeserving. When this feeling of sadness, lack, or desperation appears, it is a sign to look at what is blocking you from your own happiness.
Sometimes you must address it, and sometimes you must let it go. Your intuition will know which path you must take, which action will lead to liberation. If it feels cleansing to let it go, then do that. If it keeps churning in you and comes up in other areas of your life, address it.
When you have finished this description of your day, identify the emotions you felt during this visualization. Bring your awareness only to your emotional state, not to objects or material items.
Circle the emotional words you have used and write these emotions down in present tense with the powerful affirmation, “I am”: I am free, I am confident, I am at ease, I am connected.
You will discover how you want to feel in your best version of life, and which emotions you want to take with you into the future.
Once you have this powerful list of core emotions, you can use them as an invaluable guidance system. We will be using this throughout Part Two, so keep them nearby as you continue to read. This list is the key to your intentional life.
Your unconscious mind drives your everyday life. As you repeat the same routines, the same patterns, and the same actions, they become programmed into your subconscious.
Society, culture, and the collective consensus run better and more profitably on doubt and fear than they do on joy and empowerment, so we tend to find friendships in hate, and develop a need to be justified by others.
But you can break the cycle with conscious awareness of your own beautiful uniqueness.
Redefining your life starts by looking at how you live right now and noticing the differences between your current reality and your best life. This is not a comparison of what you do or don’t have, but of the emotions you experience.
How does your daily life compare to the positive and empowering feelings you experienced in your dream life? What core emotions are missing from your everyday living?
With every core emotion you identified, think about how often you feel it. Remember, this is not a judgment; it is simply a neutral observation that will help you map your current mindset.
- If one of your core emotions is “gratitude,” for example, do you practice gratitude each day for what you have, both the good and the challenging parts?
- If you identified “excitement,” do you feel excited about something in your life at the moment?
- If you wrote down “ease,” do you currently go through your day with the weightlessness of ease?
For every positive core emotion you identified in your best life, parallel it with an action that will make you feel that way right now. Make it a priority to connect with at least one of your core emotions every day through meditation or journaling.
- If you wrote “I am connected,” for example, your action could be “I will meditate every day for at least ten minutes and create an inner connection with myself.”
- “I am at ease” could be activated by “I will practice detachment and letting go of the things that make me stressed.”
Create a physical or digital vision board using different images, quotations, and colors that resonate with your heart and your vision of your best life.
Add photos of your family, your loved ones, and pictures that make you feel most alive. Make a sacred space where you can reflect on these images, gain perspective, inspire action, and access your core emotions on a daily basis.
5. Fuel Your Intentional Life
Now that you have identified your core emotions and discovered a way to access them, you will use them to fuel an intentional life. Since emotions direct outcomes, drive your life with high-vibration emotions—love, excitement, joy, empowerment, gratitude, and freedom. You probably identified many of these as core emotions in the best version of your life.
The more you tap into these emotions and focus on actions that create them, the more you empower your life. You not only become the mistress of your own happiness, but you are also in the receiving mode that attracts emotional, physical, financial, and spiritual wealth.
6. Let Go
It’s important to realize that some elements of life are not aligned with your core emotions and that you need to let them go. Situations, people, and activities that do not resonate with your core emotions do not serve you.
Intentional living means that you must adjust, tweak, dig, question, step back, say no (or yes), and embody your core emotions every single day in the life you have right now. As you do, you will begin to see your life transforming into something quite remarkable.
Alignment is simply the intersection of your best self and the person you are right now. Defining the emotions of who you want to be is your core work; realigning your life every day to meet these emotions is the foundation on which you can build an intentional life.
Creating an intentional life means knowing what you want, then letting go of everything that does not support it.
Use a few pages in your journal to map your parameters.
On the first page, write down all the goals you have in life. Leave a couple lines after each so you are able to add comments. The goals can be anything specific, e.g., financial freedom, a new house, a new job, more friends, more time. Dig deep and tap into some of the feelings you felt as you aligned with your core emotions.
Under each goal, write down anything that keeps you from attaining it. Then answer the following questions about those limits or obstacles:
- Is it a psychological, social, or financial limit?
- For each limitation, ask yourself, “Can I change this limit?” If not, ask, “How can I change my attitude about this limit?”
- If you can change the limit, ask yourself, “What am I willing to give up for this goal?”
- If you cannot change the limit because the price is too high, then it is time to change your attitude toward what you want and embrace the parameter.
By the time you have completed this task for all of your goals, you will notice that some things can be left alone while others require action. When you decide what is worth giving up, then you have consciously determined a desire that is worthy of your attention.
As you realign and define your life you will notice that what you say yes and no to reinforces your parameters. Be mindful of how you use them because as simple as they are, they determine your life.
Remember to recognize the beauty in your limitations and embrace the reason they are there. Changing your attitude toward the things you cannot change means taking control of your life. Accepting parameters rather than complaining about sacrifices gives you vital control.
While it’s tempting to assume that limits are beyond your control, perhaps the truth is that you are not willing to give up what is required to attain what you want. This allows you to be grounded in your choices and take responsibility for them.
Grab Your Copy
Want to learn more? Order your copy of Sez Kristiansen’s Inspired Mama and discover how you can experience the beauty of motherhood while maintaining a fulfilling life full of purpose and intention.